My fantasy football draft was last night and once again I came away with a great team. It's amazing how this happens year in and year out. In fact since we have been playing in this league I have been in the money every year. If you see the picture to left of this blog you will see my trophy from the 2005 season when I won our championship. I play in a great league with a bunch of really smart, savvy fantasy GM's. I just wish they weren't all queers. But yeah I got a pretty good team. I am banking on a huge comeback year from Shaun Alexander. Vince Young is my QB and I hope that the "Madden Curse" doesn't get to him. I get all geeked up for our draft every year. I put our draft up with some of the great sports moments of the year, such as March Madness, the Super Bowl and every episode of American Gladiators. 
This year our draft took place at a good friends house. He is actually our commissioner and he does a good job of running our league. The draft this year started at roughly 7:54 pm and wasn't over until 11:36ish. It was a grueling test of endurance. So I thought this would be a good time to blog about things that aggravate me, and things you shouldn't do at a fantasy football draft.
This year our draft took place at a good friends house. He is actually our commissioner and he does a good job of running our league. The draft this year started at roughly 7:54 pm and wasn't over until 11:36ish. It was a grueling test of endurance. So I thought this would be a good time to blog about things that aggravate me, and things you shouldn't do at a fantasy football draft. 5. Never under any circumstances show up at the draft wearing the jersey of one of the players you had on your team the year before. This is a foolish move. Not only will you be ridiculed from your other league members, but you should be required to remove your jersey and sit through the entire draft topless. Ladies this goes for you as well. Dress appropriately. Dress for success. Now I am not saying you should dress like you are going for your dream job interview, but you should be dressed like a man who is about to engage in a serious debate about who has the better team, the sexual orientation of your competition and/or whether your commissioner has a hot mom.
4. Please do not draft a player that is either injured, dead, suspended, named Mike Vick, or has already been drafted. This is easy fellas. Pay attention. If you want to just walk into the room and hand over your money so be it. But just walk in a do it. Don't do it over a period of time where you tease yourself into thinking that you will beat me when you can't even field a team every week because you drafted Rae Carruth and Ricky Williams. Don't be stupid, it offends me.
3. If you checked your sense of humor at the door then just leave. If you can't have a lot of fun at one of these events then you have no reason playing. In fact we all know who you are. Your the one that won't end up making changes to your roster after week 6. You won't show up at any of the meetings. You will however make snarky little comments to others in the league like "Sorry I don't spend all my time looking at fantasy football on the Internet, I do have a job.". You might also try to say something like "Well sorry man, I'm married, I have obligations.". Neither of these comments are acceptable nor are they valid reasons for missing a meeting or not making the appropriate changes to your lineup. You shouldn't have married her if she keeps you from league meetings and you should consider putting in your two weeks notice. Lighten up man.
2. Do not take more than 90 seconds making a pick. It isn't rocket science. If your the guy sitting there saying man I don't even know who these guys are, then that's the equivalent of sitting at a casino playing blackjack and asking the dealer to explain to you what a king is. If your problem is that you are a really deliberate person, and you can't make decision's based on gut feeling, then your new job is league accountant or treasurer, you don't deserve a team.
1. The worst person in a fantasy football league is the guy that doesn't attend the draft. If you can't make the draft you have no reason being in the league. Who can honestly have someone draft a team for you and be excited about the rest of the season. If someone said hey man I drafted you a team, they are the best team in the league, you are 100% guaranteed to win money, but you can't show up at the draft, I would punch that guy in the face. The only variation that is worse than this is the guy that wants to participate in the draft via cell-phone. Really? Someone would want to do that? This amazes me. "Cell-phone Drafter" should be exported from the nation immediately.
Not sure really if any of you care about my simple rules for a fantasy football draft, but there they are. Deal with them. I would vote for a President that would set out a universal policy on fantasy football. Now all of you go out, join a league, go to your draft and act accordingly.
4. Please do not draft a player that is either injured, dead, suspended, named Mike Vick, or has already been drafted. This is easy fellas. Pay attention. If you want to just walk into the room and hand over your money so be it. But just walk in a do it. Don't do it over a period of time where you tease yourself into thinking that you will beat me when you can't even field a team every week because you drafted Rae Carruth and Ricky Williams. Don't be stupid, it offends me.
3. If you checked your sense of humor at the door then just leave. If you can't have a lot of fun at one of these events then you have no reason playing. In fact we all know who you are. Your the one that won't end up making changes to your roster after week 6. You won't show up at any of the meetings. You will however make snarky little comments to others in the league like "Sorry I don't spend all my time looking at fantasy football on the Internet, I do have a job.". You might also try to say something like "Well sorry man, I'm married, I have obligations.". Neither of these comments are acceptable nor are they valid reasons for missing a meeting or not making the appropriate changes to your lineup. You shouldn't have married her if she keeps you from league meetings and you should consider putting in your two weeks notice. Lighten up man.
2. Do not take more than 90 seconds making a pick. It isn't rocket science. If your the guy sitting there saying man I don't even know who these guys are, then that's the equivalent of sitting at a casino playing blackjack and asking the dealer to explain to you what a king is. If your problem is that you are a really deliberate person, and you can't make decision's based on gut feeling, then your new job is league accountant or treasurer, you don't deserve a team.
1. The worst person in a fantasy football league is the guy that doesn't attend the draft. If you can't make the draft you have no reason being in the league. Who can honestly have someone draft a team for you and be excited about the rest of the season. If someone said hey man I drafted you a team, they are the best team in the league, you are 100% guaranteed to win money, but you can't show up at the draft, I would punch that guy in the face. The only variation that is worse than this is the guy that wants to participate in the draft via cell-phone. Really? Someone would want to do that? This amazes me. "Cell-phone Drafter" should be exported from the nation immediately.
Not sure really if any of you care about my simple rules for a fantasy football draft, but there they are. Deal with them. I would vote for a President that would set out a universal policy on fantasy football. Now all of you go out, join a league, go to your draft and act accordingly.
1 comment:
Hilarious! Definitely makes me wish I had some serious sports enthusiast friends up here so I could participate in an exciting Fantasy League. Good luck and I hope your holding that trophy again this year!
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